The day I began using the services of Bealach Nua was the day I started my own recovery process. Having spent years caring for a loved one and having a young family to look after as well, I felt I had nowhere to go or no one to talk to, I was very isolated and the whole of my time was given over to caring for the person who was unwell in my life. I was always worried and fearful, walking on eggshells afraid of making things worse. I was trying to support a person with mental health difficulties and yet I knew nothing about mental illness myself. When eventually my loved one received supported I felt completely exhausted and wondered where the support was for me.

Thankfully after expressing my emotions to a social worker I was given a phone number and when I made contact with the person on the other line my life began to improve.

Unsure about how the service worked, my family supporter explained that the service offers families of people with mental health challenges support, based on they themselves having lived experience of supporting family members with mental health difficulties. I immediately felt a commonality, reinforced by lack of judgement and sincere understanding of my own emotions. I was angry, sad, frustrated and scared and really did not know if I had the energy to continue in my role as a carer as well as being a mother. Being able to express my thoughts in a safe environment helped, as it was the first time in years I had let it out without fear of judgement or it being minimised and my feeling being dismissed.

I had finally found someone who could understand what life was like for me. Most people, professionals will only know the version they have been told or seen, They are not present at the unseen moments of despair, However, my family Supporter seemed to have an unspoken understanding of these experiences which lead to an instant connection which was a comfort badly needed at that time.

Through our time spent together, she helped me see things differently, more openly. Rather than moving away from the things in my life that wernt working ie problems and trying to fix everything, we worked through moving towards the things I wanted in life which was actions and hope. When I changed my thinking around a problem and began to focus on finding solutions, I was then able to work through things for myself and my family and finally began to feel myself coming out of the rut.

I learned some great skills on Communicating differently, when and how to communicate so my own needs could be met, I focused on self care and surrounding myself with positive people who supported me in achieving these goals, I looked to my own recovery and what it ment for me, as well as continuing to care for my loved one. After years of having an unrealistic expectation of my loved ones mental health, I no longer push them in the direction I feel they need to go, I accept them for where they were right now and have stepped away from my ‘doing more and more’ role.

My own Recovery was achieved by building resilience and self care into my life, which needs to be worked on all the time, but through hard work, compassion for myself and my loved one I now have an enjoyable life that I am grateful for every day. This would not have been achieved if I hadn’t discovered the invaluable support offered by Family Peer Support Workers.

2021

Before I reached out to Bealach Nua I was in a state of not knowing what to do and was in a bad headspace with what was going on with my sibling which was a worry most of the time. Now that I have learned a lot about the condition and how to cope with whats going on I’m in a much better position. I have recently been introduced to different services that offer recovery plans and hope to take part in them to allow me create better coping mechanisms for going forward.

I find the support very helpful, I’ve learned a lot of information on my siblings condition and how to communicate with her better. I find I can get through to her now and every discussion we have doesn’t end up in an argument. I now feel that less time is been taken up physically being present with my sibling as well as less time being taken up thinking about what can be done for my sibling. I have achieved this by progressing through my work with my peer supporter. I have more time to myself and to enjoy everyday life. The service is very helpful and having someone to be able to talk to outside my family is very important as there is no judgement in what I say.

To be able to talk to someone who has lived experience of what I am going through outside of my family is really good as they know why these things happen and provide a wealth of knowledge and advice on what can be done to combat the situation im in, whether it be during a ‘crisis-time’ or even when there is a time when some difficult topic needs to be brought up.

Having used the services of Bealach Nua for some years, as a service user it has given me great insight into the recovery process.

Recovery has given me a positive attitude, taking responsibility for my own emotions, expectations, fears and behaviours.

For some years I was supporting a family member with mental health challenges. Having no previous experience or knowledge of mental illness, I found myself in a confused and emotional state.

Feeling very much on my own I was put in touch with Bealach Nua services which changed my life. In using the services of Bealach Nua my family peer support worker showed me empathy, equality, mutual respect, empowerment and partnership.

At first, I did not realise how much I needed help. I had all these feelings from sadness to anger, grief, loss, anxiety and shame. Finally I had someone to talk to. My family peer support worker was a wonderful lady that made me realise it was ok to have all these feelings.

It was when she shared some of her personal experiences and how she overcame them that I began to feel hope again. I learned how important self-care was for my own mental health, when I looked after myself I was in a better position to support my family.